The universe doesn’t cater to pricks

I moonlight as a bartender and I happen to LOVE the job. It’s a fantastic offset to my oddly introverted lifestyle. It allows me to be outstanding for a few hours, make a boatload of money, then go home, turn it off, and resume hermitting.

Bartending is like any other…


Medium distributes the weirdest things, I tell ya.

They sent an article far and wide even though it was advising people to leave this platform. *Insert puzzled-face emoji here*

They did the same with a piece that had the word “Shittiest” in the title.

Yet they don’t like a well-thought-out…


I’m not sure whether to be glad or concerned about it

I already know this is a stupid thing to wonder about. But when you visit the off-leash park every single day and your pretty, young lass is the only female dog that never gets violated, you begin to wonder what gives?

I’m sure you can imagine the multitude of questions…


You know you have a choice, right?

For the record, I didn’t win a loot bag full of cash either and I was a little miffed…at first. Not because I didn’t win but for all the reasons everyone else has already moaned about in their MWC Anti-Christ posts.

I wear big-girl panties so I have no sour…


Every day is a new, unimproved expression

When you get to be my age and have plucked your eyebrows for most of your life, they start to disappear.

If only I’d consulted a Ouija board back in the days when slim eyebrows were in. …


Choices you might make if you only had thirty seconds to save your life

It’s not very often that we’re forced to make life-altering choices in a matter of seconds. If a doctor said you needed major surgery you’d have time to mull over it, weigh the options, and make an informed decision.

But what if a situation arose where you didn’t have the…


But it was exactly what you needed to find that night

It’s Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend and I will never face this holiday the same way since 2020 shat upon the world. It shat extra upon my family.

One year ago, this very weekend played out like a silent movie filmed in sepia tones conveying the bleakest mood possible. …


Then I turned around and went home

It’s probably not one of my most graceful moves but ghosting a job definitely felt like a personal triumph.

I’m sure we’ve all been in a similar place at one point or another. You feel in your bones that you’ve got to do what is best for you rather than…


Forgive me if that sounds like an insult to people who actually are

I realize homelessness and mental health are very serious issues. I also realize that the two often go hand in hand. One can lead to the other, almost seamlessly.

Practically overnight I have finally come to an understanding of how it can happen and why, because for the first time…


And I’ve been grateful for the company

The first anniversary of the darkest day I’ve ever known has arrived in the blink of an eye. There needs to be a different word for events like this. The word anniversary screams of confetti, champagne, and celebratory times.

There’s no confetti or champagne here like the emojis that pop…

Kristi Keller

Write like no one is reading, because it might be true. Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story. https://writtenbykristi.substack.com/

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