A Helpful Note About Naming Your New Business

For starters, don’t make it sound like your merchandise was stolen off the back of a truck

Kristi Keller


Image courtesy of Pixabay

Each day when I drive out of my neighborhood I pass a small advertising sign planted on the boulevard. All it says is this:

“The Heist Boutique”

That’s it. It’s a very small and very blasé sign. Like, a white background with a black, fancy font that’s difficult to read at the speed you’d be passing by it.

Each time I drive past, several questions come to mind.

  • Where is this boutique? The sign tells me nothing.
  • Did they use the word “Heist” as an attempt to sound so edgy that people will seek it out?
  • Did they steal all the merchandise from the back of a truck? It is a heist, right?
  • Will they ever attract customers with such a crappy sign?
  • And most importantly…does the world really need another boutique?

To be fair, I did seek out their website just to say I did. It’s a nicely designed website but they sell t-shirts with photos of Shania Twain and Notorious B.I.G. That’s about as un-special as it gets.

Are consumers even into boutiques anymore? Particularly when we can visit one mega-mall and hit 47 boutique-ish type places in one shot.

I’m not here to dash anyone’s dreams of owning a business but a boutique is just so meh. At least put in the effort of telling others what’s so heisty about it.

You know what would truly make me curious enough to check out a shop behind such an inferior sign?

If it were called The Heist Refillery or something. Give me a word that doesn’t come up every day. A word that will inspire curiosity.

I’d like to see signs that make me want to hit up the Google and find out what it is. And when I’d find out it’s a place where we can take empty product bottles to refill….now THAT would make me go seek it out because it’s cool and different.

By the way, a refillery is a real thing. It’s a place you can bring your own containers to refill with cleaners, soaps, and personal care products without all the packaging waste.

They do exist in my city and probably in yours, too. And I’ll tell ya, I’d be a lot more excited for more refilleries than I would be to visit a boutique with Biggy t-shirts.

Nothing makes a boutique uncommon or preferential. They all sell clothing and jewelry and handbags. It’s just shit we don’t need in the name of trying to live some kind of best life.

When naming a business please just throw us all a milk bone. We’re drowning in a kiddie pool full of plain old kibbles out here.

They say money is the root of all evil. Feel free to cleanse yourself of such evil right here.



Kristi Keller

Write like no one is reading, because it might be true. Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story. https://wildhoodwanted.substack.com/