I Told Random Strangers I Was Shot in the Face
Wear sunscreen and you might not have to tell the same lie
Never had I felt more guilty about traveling than when my dermatologist told me I had Basal Cell Carcinoma.
WTF even is that? For some reason, the word carcinoma sounds terminal to me.
He asked me if I’d ever been a frequent tanning bed user and I replied, “No, but I’ve been to the Caribbean a million times”
Then he told me I needed to come in for a biopsy as soon as possible, to which I sheepishly responded, “Ummmm, I’m leaving for the Caribbean again in a few days”.
I had never felt like such a jerk for saying that phrase until that day.
Shortly after I returned from the vacation I went in for a biopsy, which felt a little bit like a scene from Criminal Minds.
The worst part was the visible after effects of the procedure. There were two perfectly round spots completely swollen with deep indentations in the center. It genuinely looked like I had two bullet holes in my face.
One was dead center on my forehead.
I had to go to work the next day so I just told my customers I got shot in the face. It was a fantastic conversation starter.
